Being privately public

Originally published February 2, 2012 – Dear friends,

I kept this a restricted site until two months ago when I decided it’s really time for me to share the things I see, the things I love, the things I’ve learned. At the beginning, I didn’t make this site public because I felt would not feel free to write if I knew the whole world was reading it. I’m a private person. In 2012 when I set up the blog and started populating it for the eyes of a select audience, I even had a hard time with that – being public, even privately public. I didn’t send out usernames and passwords to all of the people I would have liked to send it to because I felt truly self-conscious about inflicting it on others.

expectations

I was worried that I’d be expecting my friends to make a commitment they might not want to take – that they may expect me to expect them to read it. Who am I, I reasoned with myself, to say that this blog with its many pages is how you would want to spend your precious spare time? So I distributed it very cautiously…

I am enjoying writing. At the moment I am very aware of the fact that I just write. I write quickly to jot down as many snippets of experiences and observations as I can before I forget them, before so many more pile on top of them. There are so many stories I have not yet been able to put down.

And there you are, actually reading them! Not only reading them, but making the most encouraging comments to me, making me feel like you are right here with me, following me, getting me. That is so generous, thank you!

I have less than a week left here in Negros, less than a week in my other world. I have come to deeply feel this place, this place I am in, the encounters I am making, the thoughts they are provoking. I have just been on a rollercoaster of kindness and inspiration and I don’t know how to hold on to it, record it, make the most of it, give back to it.

our world, our future

But I know that this is the dance of the universe, we are all in it together, you give, you take, and mostly you are doing both at the same time – even if it doesn’t always appear that way. And, with the universe dancing, I felt I had no choice but to share what I’ve seen and what I’ve done so maybe you can have a different perspective because of it. Like the Philippines. A beautiful country, with beautiful, wonderful, generous people, but living in pollution with trash littering their beaches. Orphans. Smog so thick, you’re dirty just minutes after you’ve showered. And food, the circle of life, our life, what are we doing to our bodies? Our future?

Thank-you for sharing this back to the past journey with me. Once it’s over, and it nearly is, we’ll be going to new places together. Our next stop will be India.

 

 

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